movie madness

This site is funny...
EveryJoe gets to pitch a movie. Here are some examples:

And Hijinks Ensue!
"BUSINESS AS USUAL is a feature-length comedy in which an immature and self-centered medical billing executive audits a problem client's account. When a hilarious office injury lands her under that client's medical care, the young executive uses hospital hi-jinks and some help from her conscience personified in order to expose the doctor's corruption."

Slut.
"LOGLINE: Following a mishap during laser eye surgery, a woman finds she is empowered with the ability to kill with a mere glance."

YES!!!
"LOGLINE: Remember the olden days, when good and evil clashed and gods and goddesses walked the earth? Well, they're back...And they brought their own soundtrack!"

Junk Mail
"Four Homeland Security agents desperately attempt to decode clues to a series of plots contained in five junk e-mail ads. All of them are filled with cryptic occult references that suggest unprecedented weapons of mass destruction."
I can see it now: "FREE overthrow PENIS the ENLARGMENT! government"

Here's a cheap one...

"LOGLINE: A family of misfits with cloaking technology battle zombies and a secret government agency that wants to enslave them.
SYNOPSIS: In 2016 a virus infects the world, turning masses of people into undead cannibals. Sixty-five years later, Josie, her twelve-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, and seven others take residence atop a metropolitan high rise. With the use of a cloaking device, they manage to elude the undead as well as their newest foe, the soldiers of Embryon. The more they come in contact with these soldiers, the more Embryon's secrets unfold."

I'm sick of you.
"Aren't you sick of predictable detective movies when you know the bad guy is going to go down? That is why I wrote the INVISIBLE KILLER. Set in Manchester, New Hampshire, in 2025. It's about two twins brothers, whom the police think is one serial killer. They are self-made millionaires and out for vengeance. Unique? You better believe it."

And chaos ensues...
"LOGLINE: Chuck would never have thought of going into politics if the aliens hadn't inflated his cat and sent him on a picnic with Marilyn Monroe."

Patty?

The hit US cartoon series The Simpsons brand new episode will see Marge Simpson's chain-smoking sister Patty turn out to be a lesbian.

According to The Sun, the episode called There's Something About Marrying, screened in the US, shows that Homer Simpson becomes a minister on the internet and conducts dozens of same-sex weddings.

In the show Patty Bouvier also reveals how she fell for her golfer friend Veronica, who turns out to be a man, betrayed by a protruding Adam's apple and unmasked at the altar.

HUNTER S. THOMPSON: 1937-2005

Original gonzo journalist kills self at age 67. 'Fear and Loathing' author, ex-columnist for S.F. Examiner dies of gunshot wound.

Shoe in

That's "Little Beirut" for you...

PORTLAND, Oregon (AP) -- Howard Dean, the newly minted leader of the Democratic Party, and former Pentagon adviser Richard Perle made clear their opposing views on the war in Iraq during a debate marred by a protester who tossed a shoe at Perle.

Perle had just started his comments Thursday when a protester threw a shoe at him before being dragged away, screaming, "Liar! Liar!"

Perle, who was Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld's top policy adviser, was a key architect of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, and Dean is among the war's most prominent opponents.

Isn't the Internet great?

A chef has created a computer that prints paper meals.

Homaru Cantu's invention uses ink made of liquidised food to print a picture snack on low-calorie edible paper. The meals on soya bean and potato paper could help office workers satisfy food cravings without piling on the pounds.

Scottish men can now marry their ex-mothers-in-law following legal changes by the Scottish Executive.

Scottish women are also free to marry their former fathers-in-law as a result of the changes, reports the Herald. The family law reforms change laws dating back to 1567, based on the Old Testament, which said that if a man takes a wife and lies with her mother, all three should be burned alive.

A Jordanian man divorced his wife after discovering that she was also his virtual girlfriend.

Bakr Melhem had been flirting with a women on an internet chat room for several months. But, when they finally met up at a bus station, in Zarqa near Amman, he recognised her as his wife Sanaa. Bakr Melhem immediately shouted the Arabic words for 'I divorce thee' three times.

A man from Swansea has discovered he sends text messages in his sleep.

Richard Griffiths, 23, has sent a series of messages - one even mirroring a nightmare he was having. He said: "I text so much it's second nature. But I was still freaked out." He sent his first message to his mum at 2am 18 months ago reports The Sun.

A few months later he sent a text to his friend Ashley Jones saying: "Help, I'm in trouble, someone's chasing me." Ashley immediately rang back - and spoke to Richard who revealed he had been dreaming. Another text, referring to the Jungle Book film he had seen with two young relatives, read: "Baloo have you seen Bagheera?"

Hi Res

Here is a web page about a guy with a really high definition camera. I originally saw an article about him on Wired.com.

One Good Thing

Here's one good thing, among others, about beer....

Man peed way out of avalanche

A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.

He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out.

But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.

He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported.

Bad Beer?

BRISBANE, Australia (AP) -- A woman has pleaded guilty to selling on eBay three nonexistent cases of Duff brand beer -- the favorite of cartoon character Homer Simpson.

Tara Edith Woodford, 28, pleaded guilty in the Mackay Magistrates Court in
northern Queensland state on Wednesday to three charges of dishonestly gaining money by false pretenses.

Prosecutor Gavin Burnett told the court Woodford was paid a total of Aust. $1,951 ($1,511) by three separate buyers after advertising the bogus beer on the eBay Internet auction site.

Duff is the beer brand of choice for Homer Simpson and his barfly friends in the animated U.S. television series "The Simpsons".

In the mid-1990s, two breweries released their own "Duff Beer" in Australia until legal action by the creators of "The Simpsons" and the Twentieth Century Fox Film Corp. took the beer off the market.

Fox has a policy of refusing to license "The Simpsons" merchandising for products that would be detrimental to children.

Duff beer is now a collector's item and cases can sell for as much as $774 on eBay, according to Lorraine Gledhill, the treasurer of the National Beer Can Collectors Club.